...

One thing I'll never get over is how incredible, and healing it is to be more connected now to the local queer community, rather then remaining isolated and pushing myself inside.
It's been a great way to get a lot of work done, and a wonderful way to get to know people that I wouldn't otherwise even if I'm not the most social outside of events, but I'd be lying if I said I was completely comfortable at this point.
It's not even that anything is going wrong, I think it just has to do with my past, and my overall experiences,
(and difficulties!) socializing as a kid.
Dealing with autism, and a lack of understanding "normal" social cues, and not being able to deal with eye contact,
while not really feeling in my own body(yay severe anxiety and incorrect hormones, while managing other peoples emotions) but
While I did have a pretty solid mask for longer then I should have , the more and more I learn to actually process my past, and the longer I'm on estrogen and the more I learn to manage the overwhelm and triggers from other incredibly difficult things in my life, the more and more the mask slips.
While not everything is perfect and exposure doesn't fix everything, I finally am at a point where I mostly feel good, and that's excellent!

Ciao for Now